He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
