Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
