Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
