I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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