if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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