i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
