it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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