if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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