sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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