I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
