The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
