So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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