I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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