Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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