idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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