he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize