Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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