I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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