careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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