i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize