Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There r osticjed everywhere
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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