K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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