I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
