playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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