So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
