I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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