Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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