I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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