So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
