you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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