brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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