Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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