my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
