whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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