Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Sacagawea was the original milf.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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