does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
