i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
