.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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