Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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