There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
