I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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