All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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