I'm drive I can fine osifer
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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