Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
