The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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