If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
