Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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