can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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