remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
