careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
