Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
