Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize