if i can run in heels then i can drive
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
