he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize