Yo dont text me then not text me
she looked like the before picture.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
