Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
