dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Never underestimate the power of titties
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
