but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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